starts with goobye

well blog. i feel like this particular blog has run its course.

i may start a new blog. i havent decided.

but i bid you adieu

i've had the time of my life :)

never felt like this before. yes i swear. its the truth. and i owe it all to yoooooooou!!!


ok. now without me breaking out into song and dance while i am sitting here at work..

THIS WEEK HAS BEEN AMAZING SO FAR!
and its only tuesday. is that even possible with sundays events? well apparently it is lol

so far this week, i have met new people, walked around campus carrying a pink spray bottle for what many people see as NO reason, climbed under a tree to untie and retrieve a purple flag, and spent my days dancing around and smiling more than i have in a long time. its only tuesday.. yeah its a good week. and it is only going to get better.

and i gotta say. i am excited to get "spoiled" on friday. lets see if he can live up to this hahaha.


ok now i will go sing and dance. peace loves :D!

you werent worth the view :)

arizona by Hey Monday :) that is the song i choose for this occasion. before writing this blog, i had left another blog half written. in this blog i explained how happy i was and that corey and i were together again and that we were going so strong.

i guess i was wrong

because ladies and gents, to my surprise, NEITHER OF US KNEW WHAT WE WANTED ANYMORE.. im sorry.. 3 years of being best friends.. and 10 months of a relationship in which i did nothing but support your every move.. a school, c school, the decision to go to effin JAPAN! and then this last school that turned you into the biggest doucher in the world. just love, adoration, and support. but apparently that means i dont know what i want. shocked me.

ok i am done with my rant :) i deserve a guy who will treat me right. i deserve a guy who will love me completely and appreciate me.




i leave you with a link to this song because its amazing :)
Arizona - Hey Monday :)

im not who i was..

its been two months since i posted a blog, buut continuing with my tradition of using songs as my titles. there you go. im not who i was. and aint that the truth.

it has been one extreme roller coaster of a week. last saturday corey and i broke up, and boy did that throw me for a loop. i didnt feel like my world had ended, like i felt in december, but i was broken, thats for sure. i cried so much, i really couldnt cry anymore. we had our annual Red Dress Gala that same night, and i definitely did not want to go. especially since it would just remind me of how alone i was. no date and no family with me that night, unlike last year. but i went. and guess what? it was actually really good for me. who would have thought??

i've been spending a LOT of time with one of my littles, Lauren. We rock socks, and bananas. hahaha. i am finally starting to get back to my awesome insanity. the perfectly wonderful insane that i was in high school. we started dancing outside of my car to songs that make us mooove.

this week was one of the worst ever. as school is getting harder, and life decided it wanted to pile more onto me. In the last week, i lost my boyfriend/best friend, lost my best friend, had multiple tests in some of my hardest classes, became stressed with things in alpha phi, and just basically felt like the world was falling. but i definitely made it through the week with the help of my friends. i stayed strong. i definitely made it through a lot better than i thought i would.

but through this week of horribleness, i came to realize that i truly am not who i was. im no where near as confident, even in my studies, which used to be where i held the most pride. i stopped believing in myself somewhere along the way. i stopped being who i was. i started wondering, what happened to the girl in vegas, who was always happy and sat around in the magnet office talking to mrs williams (the magnet secretary not my mother lol) about her day and watching oprah and the view with her? what happened to the girl who loved her life and was concentrated on the things that mattered most to her? what happened to the girl who was always there for her friends? what happened to the girl who adored her family and didnt want to miss a single moment? what happened to the girl who never cared about fashion and style, yet always managed to look good (according to what others said)? what happened to the girl who lost her voice, not in a concert, but after while driving around screaming song lyrics with her best friend? what happened to her? i liked her. she was me. who is this person that i am now?

so i am reevaluating myself, rethinking all that it is that i need/want in life. and who i truly am. i am already making some progress. i am already happier. i mean, i started dancing in the middle of the street with my little. if thats not true me i dont know what is.

buuut. this weekend was a good weekend. i went home to see my family. and goodness i gotta say, i absolutely love my family. and my niece is just absolutely precious. i hate that i am never home because i miss them soo much. but YAY! i am going to be an aunt for the 7th time :) i am so exited, i want another niece but my brother definitely wants another son.. so we will see what this baby is. also, my mother is amazing, and knows that shopping will make me feel better about everything. so two pairs of shoes and two dresses later, i am ready to take on this week. also, my best friend and i are on speaking terms again, as i realized that a lot of what was said was true and i do need to fix things. annnd. corey and i are actually talking again. still just friends.

Here is a link to the song for this post:
I'm Not Who I Was - Brandon Heath

back to december

can i just say that december sucks?

its the worst month. ever. and not just this year. for some unknown reason, July and December happen to be cursed months for me. only one good thing has happened in either month. July 2000 - nephews Jake and Dawson were born. December 2008- niece Cassandra Claudine was born.

well. there you have it. all else is just bad. bleh.